MySpiritualAdvisor.com Blog

Blogging and spiritual reflections from a seminary educated Indiana based pastoral associate. For biography go to http://www.MySpiritualAdvisor.com/aboutme.htm

My Photo
Name:
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Mark Kurowski has served as a pastor, counselor and religious advisor since 1990. A graduate of Duke Divinity School, Durham, NC, with a Master of Divinity degree, He is a married father of five. Kurowski is a member of Spiritual Directors International and has been a spiritual director since 2002. He has given spiritual direction to persons on 4 continents. Follow him on Twitter @mkurowski, on Facebook at facebook.com/myspiritualadvisor, or by email at mark@myspiritualadvisor.com

Monday, September 01, 2014

Why Men Should Object to Jennifer Lawrence's Photos

"If you deliberately seek out any of these images, you are directly participating in the violation not just of numerous women’s privacy but also of their bodies. These images - which I have not seen and which I will not look for - are intimate, private moments belonging only to the people who appear in them and who they have invited to see them. To have those moments stolen and broadcast to the world is an egregious act of psychic violence which constitutes a form of assault." Writes Clementine Ford of the website "Daily Life"

With all of the advancements and wonder that the electronic media have given us, this is one of the most dangerous of them all. I am sorry that Jennifer Lawrence and others have had their nude pictures leaked. It is such a violation of privacy and a degradation of the personhood of these women.

What is astonishing to me is that most of the outrage is that these photos were released. My difficulty with the entire situation is that, as a Christian man, I am outraged that the pictures were taken in the first place. Sure, I understand that there might possibly (but I would think remote) thrill that you would have your picture taken in the nude. I also understand fully and completely the attraction of looking at naked pictures of women who are very attractive. Thrill and control are the entire package of making a human being an object. The thrill is about power.

For Christian men, this is not what we ought to be about. Tucked away in the much maligned passage from Ephesians 5:21-33 about being subject to one another, is this passage about men and their wives:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her..." 

Men have been charged with the honor of women. Why? Is it because men are so much stronger and better? No, it is because over the ages, men have exploited women by degrading them. St. Paul is calling men to honor women by refusing to participate in such exploits in objectification.

These photos of Jennifer Lawrence are degrading because they objectify her. The problem is that they are no different than many of the pictures that are taken of Lawrence and everyone in Hollywood. We have totally objectified actors and actresses.   These photos call into question the license that an "entertainment society" gives to us to objectify people who entertain us.

Christian men and women are allowed to rock the socks off in the bedroom. That, I believe is God's plan.  Orgasms are one of God's greatest creations. Couples can and should get saucy in the bedroom once a relationship of trust, honor and mutual respect has been established. 

Taking, posing for and looking at pictures of a woman naked in her private bedroom is a dishonoring of the body with or without a committed marital relationship. It is saying that the body is no different than any other form of entertainment. It is saying that this woman who has a mind, a soul and a body which are all indeed beautiful are nothing more than a dixie cup for us to drink from and throw away. As a Christian man, I cannot support this. Clementine Ford and I agree that we ought not look at these pictures, but where we part company is that no one should have taken these photos in the first place. 

Follow Mark Kurowski daily @mkurowski on Twitter and weekly download his podcasts at http://MySpiritualAdvisor.com 
#DailyLife #JenniferLawrence #MySpiritualAdvisor @mkurowski

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sorrow

How do we handle sorrow? It eats at me when I am sorrowful. I cannot get away from it. Tell me about instances of your sorrow and then I will comment on it from a faith perspective.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

What is All the Fuss about Works v. Faith?

Today, when I get back from my son's football game, I am going to talk with you about why it is just plain silly that we are fussing over works v. faith in some circles. The fact of the matter is that Protestants and Catholics actually agree on this.

Monday, July 04, 2005

The Meaning of Friendship

The readings over the last couple of weeks in The Liturgy of the Hours are about King David (1 and 2 Samuel). In the readings, Jonathan, the son of the king whom David will replace, vows his allegiance to David as a friend. Even though his father, King Saul, wants to kill David, Jonathan sees something in David which transcends all the structures of society.

What is it that Jonathan sees? He sees the will of God.

When we are friends with someone, what guides the rules of our friendship? How far are we willing to go to maintain the friendship?

Jesus says, "a friend is willing to lay down his life for his friends." This, of course, was his forewarning that he would lay down his life for us. It was a statement that God was our friend and was going to sacrifice himself for us, rather than having us sacrifice ourselves for him.

Friendship, for the Christian, only has its definition when it is within the context of our relationship with God. God's friendship was a laying down of his life for our good. He laid down his life so that we could have life forevermore. His willingness to be our friend extended as far as good. His friendship was not to advance evil or self indulgence.

Jonathan's friendship was not a betrayal of his father Saul because it was not a betrayal of the Heavenly Father.

For us, who are trying to 'get spiritual', friendship means laying down our life for the good of each other. So, when someone asks you to do something bad because 'you are my friend', the answer is a resounding "no".

For more on living the spiritual life and resources for the spiritual life go to http://www.MySpiritualAdvisor.com.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Does Christ Require "Perfection"?

Jesus says in Matthew 5:48 says, "You shall be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect."

Ugh.

He can't really mean it! Please! In my nine-to-five-job-get-the-kids-to-the-ballpark-deal-with-the-@#!%$#@!-driver-in-front-of-me life, it can't be another demand!

Well, today St. Gregory of Nyssa, a bishop in the 300s A.D. wrote a treatise called "On Christian Perfection." And it is something that he says we ought to aspire to do. More than an outright act, it begins as a state of the heart.

What it means to be perfect is to be holy. Holiness begins with a desire. The desire has to be in our hearts toward God. It is a desire that says, "I love you so much, I want to present myself as a holy and blameless offering."

To be perfect in our lives does not happen overnight. It is a process. And if it seems like a demand, then you should not think of "what should I do to be perfect". What should happens is that you should ask this question, "How much do I love God?"

This is not a flip remark. The question needs to be asked as a point of starting. Where am I in my relationship with God? What am I willing to offer him?

Am I willing to sit through a worship service/Mass with kids crawling all over me even though I get nothing out of it? Am I willing to sing the hymns louder as though I meant them? Am I willing to set aside five minutes a day to think about God, pray to God, tell God I love him? What is it? Where are you?

For those who say, "Yes! I want to be perfect because I love God," now is the time for you to get a prayer book or devotional book and set aside some serious time to contemplate God and tell him you love him.

Perfection is the total giving of oneself to God. It begins with a disposition of the heart, not a laundry list of things to do.

For more information on how to give yourself to God through prayer see http://www.MySpiritualAdvisor.com/starting.htm for more articles on the subject.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Christianity is Counter-Cultural

The readings for today in the Liturgy of the Hours contain a snippet from St. Cyprian of Carthage, a bishop and martyr who lived around 250 A.D.. He is writing to his flock about the Lord's Prayer.

We need to remember that at this time there was no official Bible. There were writings which were floating around that were accepted, others were not accepted for good reason. Yet, before we have the official adoption of the Bible with the Gospels, we have this instruction on the Lord's Prayer!

This tells us that the Lord's Prayer was truly there from the beginning and was well known by the 200s A.D.. St. Cyprian felt the need to stress to his followers,

Above all, he who preaches peace and unity did not want us to pray by ourselves in private or for ourselves alone. We do not say, "My Father, who art in heaven," nor, "Give me this day my daily bread." It is not for himself alone that each person asks to be forgiven, not to be led into temptation or to be delivered from evil. Rather, we pray in public as a community, and not for one individual but for all. For the people of God are all one.

These words slapped me in the face this morning.

I subscribe to SBCYahoo! DSL. Its opening screen has a young woman pointing to herself with the caption, "You, you, you...it's all about you." Of course, SBCYahoo! is trying to point out that you can customize your home page to your interests. But, that would go counter to who we are as Christians, that is, to have everything "our way".

When Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is, he answers that there are two. The first is to love God without inhibition. The second is to love neighbor. The focus of the Christian life then is away from ourselves. It is not about "me, me, me."

Saint Cyprian points out that we learn this, too, from the Lord's Prayer. We are to pray for all of humanity when we pray the Lord's Prayer. "Give the world this day, her daily bread," and "Forgive the world her trespasses," might be paraphrases we could use to talk about this outward focus of the Lord's Prayer.

What could we do today to focus on someone else besides us? What could we do to focus on God today? Could we pray a short prayer on the hour every hour silently at work? Could we pray for the people who really irritate us and make us angry? Could we talk about the poor in other parts of the world? Could we be more concerned about the people in poverty in our own country? We could and we should. So, do it. Pray for everyone, because we are all one before God.

For more resources for the Spiritual Life go to http://www.MySpiritualAdvisor.com

St. Cyprian of Carthage, bp. and martyr. Died 258 A.D. in the persecution of Christians by Decius, Emperor of Rome. He was involved in the dispute with the Novations who said that those who gave in to persecution should not be let back into the Church. Cyprian said that we were the church of the impure and forgiven. His appeal to Bishop Cornelius of Rome was a sign of the prominence of Rome in the Church at that time. His writings dealt with the Church, the sacraments and the apostolic ministry.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

What to Do with Our Feeling of Spiritual Inadequacy

As a parent, it may seem like a temptation to feel inadequate at times. Today's Gospel reading was a breath of fresh air. It gives hope to all parents who want to be a good example for their children but fail.

At our Parish, Little Flower Catholic Church (www.littleflowerchurch.org), Fr. Andre Leveille (Lev-ee-ay) read the lesson of Matthew the tax collector being chosen to follow Jesus Christ. Matthew was a most unlikely choice because tax collectors were known to be dishonest, unscrupulous, and awful people in Jesus' day. They would often extort monies from their assigned constituencies to make a larger profit.

Father Leveille spoke of how God chooses us to follow him and do amazing works. There is always something for us to do for Christ, he said. Because it was an awful morning getting everyone to Mass, this passage brought me much comfort when applied to parenting.

God gave me my children, and gave you your children, even though we have faults. Boy, when I look in the mirror, it seems that I have more faults than others. Yet, my years of pastoral counseling experience tell me that everyone feels like their home life is on TV when they go out in public. So, I need, we all need, to remember that regardless of our faults, God has given us children to love and care for as best we can.

What are ways that we can adequately love our children? One of them is to take the example of Matthew and be converted everyday. We must remember to work on your prayer life (see article at www.MySpiritualAdvisor.com/starting.htm if you need help with this). We need to share our prayer lives with our children. As well, we must remember to take the Eucharist as much as possible. Communing with Christ in the bread and cup is our joy as Christians.

Remember to visit the website, http://www.MySpiritualAdvisor.com for more articles and other items to help with the spiritual life.